I Want to Be a Sohma
by gotemsayingwow
Summary: When Tohru and Kyo travel home for an unexpected visit, emotions take over and the pair are forced to think seriously about their future. SERIOUS FLUFF plus spoilers for after the manga. Rated K because I used the word 'sexy' and I'm trying not to offend anyone.


The phone rang while she was grocery shopping. Sitting on the balcony with a cup of tea, Kyo Sohma considered letting it ring without picking it up, hoping they would leave a message. But knowing Tohru, who pounced on the phone every time it rang like a lion and her prey, he knew it would mean more if he took the message for her.

After high school, he had whisked his girlfriend, Tohru Honda, away to the coast so that he could take a teaching role at the dojo of his father's friend. They were nearly five hours away from their old home and his extended family, something he could not be happier about. He had been surrounded by his cousins, most of whom he couldn't even find a relation for other than the Juunishi curse.

They weren't the only ones to move away. Yuki Sohma, his grey-haired, rat cousin, moved south to attend university and study economics. Shigure Sohma moved from their original house back to the main house to live with the head of the family, Akito Sohma. Momiji Sohma, whom Kyo considered his only competition when it came to Tohru's heart, decided to go to university in Germany, hoping to become more in tune with his mother's culture. Everyone else had, more or less, stayed in the same place, congregating within 10 kilometers of the main house, seeing each other frequently.

Tohru had several living relatives, but only one she talked with frequently—her grandfather. In fact, she called her grandfather every week on Sunday afternoons. She had several cousins, but given her parents' history, they wanted very little to do with her. What she lacked in love from her family, however, she received in spades in his family. She was adored, sought out, and loved by every member of his family. She was on the phone with at least one member of his family every day. While he worked and between her housework and various projects, she spoke for hours with people that Kyo only wanted to spend minutes speaking to.

As irritating as his family could be, calling all of the time, fawning over her whenever they traveled home, and sending letter after letter to her, there was one, unspoken rule: Saturdays and Sundays were Kyo and Tohru's special days together. Even when the phone rang, they let it go to the answering machine. They spent every minute of Saturdays and Sundays together.

Today was a Saturday. Typically, Kyo would have accompanied her to the grocery store, but he was in the middle of assembling a new wardrobe for their bedroom and Tohru insisted she only had four things on her list. They could each do their tasks and hurry back to spend the day together. Kyo decided to answer the phone and take the message for her, knowing full well it was a call for Tohru and not for him. The caller ID flashed an unusual number.

"Hello?" Kyo answered.

"Hi, is Tohru Honda there, please?" An unfamiliar voice asked. It was a woman's voice and no one he was related to. He briefly looked at the phone number—it was an out of area number.

"Who's calling?" Kyo responded. "She's not in right now, but I'll take a message."

"It's Mayumi Honda, her aunt," Mayumi Honda, Tohru's aunt, answered. "My father asked to call her."

Kyo had _no _idea who he was talking to. Tohru had never mentioned her name—not that she talked about her family—and he had only ever met one of her male cousins and her grandfather. "Um, okay," He responded. "What would you like me to tell her?"

"Just tell her to call when she has a chance," said Mayumi. Kyo took down her number and hung up. He considered why this relative would be calling. He knew Tohru's grandfather couldn't fully operate the phone by himself, but usually, if there was a time other than Sunday afternoons, he would have someone punch in the number and then talk with her on the phone. As far as he knew, she never actually spoke with anyone else in her family other than her grandfather.

A pit formed in his stomach. He knew that if someone else in her family was calling, it probably wasn't going to be a positive call. Her family did not accept her, particularly because they hated her mother, Kyoko. Her father, even, was the black sheep of the family, after falling in love with an impregnating one of his students. As such, Tohru was widely rejected by everyone except her grandfather. It was something that made his blood boil. She was the most wonderful, caring, kind, and thoughtful person he had ever met. Anyone who met her adored her. He couldn't understand how _anyone _could reject her and he knew it bothered her, too, though of course she never talked about it.

Kyo wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. It was only a bonus that she had decided her version of happy heavily involved him. When she willingly agreed to follow him to a strange, new home, he knew he was the luckiest man on the planet. He knew he wanted to spend every single day with her, doing his best to make her as happy as she made him. And so far, it appeared to be working.

They talked about the future often, with the intention that one day they would be husband and wife. In fact, they both wanted to be wed soon after graduation, and it was only at his father's urgency to wait, experience life first, and _then _settle down that they both retired the idea, looking forward to marriage in the future. And it was for the best, as well, because between saving up enough money to live on their own, furnish their apartment, and visit family multiple times per year, they had more pressing financial matters to attend to.

Even so, Kyo knew this was the year. He had planned to propose to Tohru on their next trip home, taking her back to Shigure's old house, where Hatsuharu and Rin were currently living. He'd even purchased a ring, not that it was entirely flashy. Neither Kyo nor Tohru were too keen on jewelry. Tohru wore the same, simple, studded earrings every day, and he hadn't donned a piece of jewelry since he ripped off his juzu beads three years ago. He had gotten her a simple, gold band, knowing full well nothing tangible could represent the love they had for one another. But at the very least, it would warn other guys that she was taken.

He finished his tea and finished placing all of the clothes in the new wardrobe. Carefully, he placed each of her precious items in the same arrangement they had been in previously. First, in the back, a large, framed picture of her mother and father, cradling a baby Tohru. Next, a smaller, framed picture of Kyo and Tohru, taken on their graduation day, three years prior. Holding her diploma, Tohru's arms were thrown around his neck. He held his diploma up, triumphantly, grinning, his other arm around her waist.

A bowl containing his juzu beads sat next to the red baseball cap. A paper carnation sat between the folds of a 'Thank You' card from the rat, reading _'Thank you for the meals and the help moving. You are one of a kind. Love, Yuki.' _Kyo didn't _love _that item, but he let it be. The final picture, a small, framed picture of Kyo and Kazuma, on the day of graduation, sat behind all thirteen juunishi figures.

As he was washing out his teacup, he heard the door open. "Hello?" Tohru called out.

"Kitchen!" Kyo responded. Not that there were many places to hide. Their one-bedroom apartment didn't leave many separate places. Tohru came in, placed her hand on his shoulder, stood on her tiptoes, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Even now, a blush crept across his face and he felt his heartbeat quicken. Her touch, any touch, was like a shot of adrenaline. She began putting the groceries away, humming quietly to herself. Kyo placed his cup back in the cabinet and turned around, watching her delicately placing the eggs from a carton into the basket they had in the fridge. As she was doing so, her skirt swished around her legs, his eyes catching on her thighs. The navy skirt flattered her long, pale legs. She had paired it with a simple white t-shirt—one of his—tied to the side so that it would flatter her figure.

She was hard to resist. In fact, on Saturdays and Sundays, they rarely got out of bed until noon. They spent the mornings wrapped up in one another. Occasionally sleeping in, occasionally doing a simple task such as writing a grocery list, but most often snuggling, kissing, and making love to one another to pass the time.

Initially, when they had moved here, they stayed in the home of Kazuma's friend, Takashi. He was a straitlaced, traditional man, with two grown children. Kyo and Tohru spent the first six months of their adult relationship retiring to separate bedrooms, idly passing the time, until they heard the entire house go still. Then, Kyo would slide out of his window onto the sloping roof below, and through her window into her bedroom.

She was always hesitant at first. He was, too. They fumbled their way around each other's bodies, often apologizing profusely as they did so, not quite sure how to please one another. But slowly, as the months came along, they each became much more confident with each other. By the time they had found their apartment, just a few minutes from the dojo, they had done everything _but _have sex. It was an unspoken agreement between them that they would wait until they were truly alone.

The first night in their apartment, they had absolutely no furniture. They piled blankets and a mat from the dojo on the floor of the living room into a makeshift bed. Nervous once more, Kyo asked her every few seconds "are you sure this is okay?" Tohru nodded and they had fumbled their way through each of their first times.

Now, however, they had no shame in their own home. Tohru was brazen, even, confident in her own skin. They could still barely keep their hands off of one another on the weekends. And watching her now, unpacking the groceries, bending down to place things in the lowest cabinets, Kyo fought the urge to gently wrap his arms around her body and kiss her neck. He knew he had a message to give her.

"Store busy?" He asked, not quite sure how to broach the topic of her aunt's call.

"Yeah, a bit," She replied, neatly folding their grocery bags and placing them by the front door. "Did you manage to get the wardrobe built?"

"Yes, but I'm not quite sure what to do with the other one. It's pretty old, but I'd hate to throw it away."

"We could leave it in the trash room, still. Someone would probably take it." He nodded.

The two of them went into the bedroom to carry it together down the hall and into the garbage room.

"Oh, Kyo, you put everything away, too!" Tohru exclaimed. "Thank you so much. You didn't have to do that. I could have done it."

"It was fine," He smiled. "I figured it would be something to pass the time until you got home." He tipped the old wardrobe onto its side and reminded her "Lift with your legs." They knelt down, grasping the sides of the wardrobe and slowly shimmying it to the front door. Balancing the heavy object between his arm and the wall, Kyo shoved the door open and the two walked into the hall.

"Need some help, kids?" Their neighbor, Mr. Okura, asked. Both shook their head, not wanting the older man to expend any energy.

Back in the apartment, Tohru's eye caught on a scrap of paper next to the phone. "Did someone call?" She asked, her face visibly lighting up.

"Yeah, about that," Kyo responded. "One of your relatives called. Mayumi? She said that your grandfather asked her to call you."

Tohru's brow creased. "Hmm," She said. He could feel new anxiety radiating off of her. She glanced at the phone, but did not pick it up to dial the number. "I-I'm not sure w-why she would call…"

Kyo grabbed her hand. "I'm sure it's fine," He reassured her. "Maybe grandfather can't call tomorrow and he wanted her to tell you."

She nodded vaguely. Picking the phone up from the receiver, she tentatively dialed the number, hands trembling slightly. She sat down on the floor next to the receiver as it rang. Kyo leaned against the opposite wall, watching her.

"Er, hi, this is Tohru, returning Mayumi Honda's call," Tohru said. "Okay, thank you." She paused and Kyo assumed someone had gone to fetch Mayumi. "Hi, Mayumi, how are you?...I'm well, thanks…is everything alright?" Tohru nodded into the phone, listening to what Mayumi was saying. Her already anxious eyes became wider as she listened. "And, um, he's doing alright?...Okay…Okay, I-I understand…yes, please tell him I will be there…thank you, Mayumi…" She scribbled something down next to the phone number. "Bye bye."

She hung up the phone and turned to look at him.

"Everything okay?" Kyo asked, knowing the answer.

"It, um…" Tohru started. Kyo crossed the room and sat next to her. "It appears grandfather had a rather bad fall…" She began. Kyo watched as tears welled up in her eyes. "He's in the, uh, hospital. He's declining and Mayumi suggested that I go see him." A tear escaped, slipping down her cheek and onto his white shirt.

It broke him every time he saw Tohru cry. He'd experienced few things that had hurt as much as watching her cry and not knowing what to do. Now, his chest bloomed with pain and he instinctively reached out for her and cradled her against his chest. She was a silent crier, tears slipping down her face with ragged breaths. She never sobbed or wailed, rather wept quietly.

"We should go," He whispered into her hair. "We can go tonight. We'll take the train."

"You don't need to come," She said, snapping her head up. "I'm sure it will be fine. You shouldn't miss work."

"Tohru, I don't want you to be there alone," He said. "And you don't want to be alone, either."

She nodded, tears springing into her eyes again. He held her for a few more minutes before she got up to go pack her bags. Kyo called the train station to inquire about tickets home. After reserving two tickets for himself and Tohru, he called Kazuma, explaining the situation, and asking if they could spend the next few days staying with him. Finally, he called Takashi, explaining the situation, and saying he would call when he had more information.

They bided their time until their evening train ride with a long walk around the neighborhood and to the shore. It was roughly five kilometers from where they lived in the city center, but it was a familiar route for them. Tohru loved the ocean, but today she walked silently along the sandy beach, lost in thought. Kyo said little to nothing to her, opting instead to give her quiet support and not force her to talk. They walked hand in hand to a little shop for a quick lunch and then back home. They took the long way, winding around each alley and side street, extending their walk significantly. By the time they got home, both had sore feet, but neither said a word.

Kyo helped Tohru water all of the plants and then slide them out onto the balcony, hoping they may get a little rain while they were gone. They closed the shades, turned off all of the lights, and headed out to catch the train.

It was a three-hour train ride with several stops between their new home and their old home. Tohru slipped her small, soft hand into his rough, large one and leaned her head on his shoulder. She whispered, almost inaudibly, "I feel scared." Kyo squeezed her hand tight and placed a kiss on her forehead. He was scared, too.

Since he had known her, Tohru had trouble expressing any negative emotions. When she was happy, she burst with joy, giggling and blushing and non-stop talking. When somebody _else _was sad, she had no trouble swooping in to help, offering advice or a shoulder to cry on. But any time someone asked her if she was troubled, her response was always an immediate "no" and a change of subject.

She was better when it was just the two of them, but it took some adjustment. In fact, within the first month of them living together and alone, Kyo returned from work to find a quiet, sullen Tohru. She greeted him, chipper, and made dinner as if nothing was wrong, but he knew. She gave off imperceptible signals of displeasure. Her mouth would set in a slight grimace, her brow furrowed, and her movements jerkier and less smooth. On that particular evening, he pressed her to find out what was wrong, but she dismissed him, saying she was fine and changing the subject each time. Finally, at dinner, he slammed his utensils down and demanded to know what made her so sad.

He thought about that evening a lot. He thought about how she jumped, tears immediately springing to her eyes. He thought about how the second she reacted, he had never felt so horrible in his entire life. Never. He had just shouted at her for being sad, a natural human emotion, and now he had made her even sadder. That night he had buried his face in his hands, listening to her apologize for being upset and chastising himself for yelling.

After that, they had an agreement. Whenever either of them was upset, they could either talk about it then, or talk about it later, but neither could press the other to talk if they weren't ready. As long as it _was _talked about, the timeline didn't matter. And Tohru still downplayed every negative emotion she had, but she at least communicated these emotions to Kyo.

* * *

When they arrived at the train station in their hometown, Kyo grabbed their shared suitcase and Tohru's shoulder bag, carrying it for her. She protested briefly, but he grabbed her hand and insisted. They walked, hand-in-hand, up to the street level, where Hatori Sohma, Kyo's cousin, was waiting for them.

Tohru hugged Hatori and said "Thank you so much for offering us a ride." Hatori smiled kindly.

"I've spoken with your grandfather's doctor," Hatori said, once they were in the car. "I went by to see him today."

"Ah, thank you, Hatori-san!" Tohru exclaimed. "You did not have to do that."

"It's my pleasure, Honda-san," Hatori responded. "I wish I could take you there tonight, but visiting hours are over and he needs his rest."

"How was he?" Tohru asked. Kyo sharply took in a breath, praying Hatori would be sensitive in delivering any negative news.

"He has a badly broken femur," Hatori responded. "And he is in a lot of pain, so they have him on a sedative. When I saw him, he was sleeping, but the nurses said that usually in the morning he is more lucid. I will take you there first thing in the morning so that you can see him when he's awake."

The rest of the drive was relatively silent, with just a few simple comments about the family. As Hatori pulled the car up in front of Kazuma's home, he said "I'll be here tomorrow at 8:30 in the morning. Visitor hours start shortly after that. Okay?"

"Thank you so much, Hatori-san," Tohru said, patting his hand appreciatively.

"Yeah, thanks," Kyo responded. They grabbed their items from the boot of the car and entered Kazuma's home. Kazuma greeted the two of them with a big hug.

"Welcome home," Kyo's master said, ruffling Kyo's hair fondly. "Would it hurt you to call to check in sometimes?" Kyo smirked in response, knowing full well Tohru called weekly to update Kazuma on both of their lives.

"Shishou-san, you are looking well!" Tohru exclaimed, offering the older man a warm hug. "I hope we are not inconveniencing you too much with our stay here. I appreciate your hospitality!"

Shishou led them to the table, where a fresh pot of tea was waiting. Tohru excused herself to freshen up, and the two men sat down across from one another. Kyo poured each of them a cup of tea.

Kazuma marveled at the boy he had raised. Once skinny, awkward, and full of angst, Kyo had matured and grown. He was tall, much taller than Kazuma, and he'd filled out considerably. He knew, thanks to Tohru's weekly updates, that Kyo had trained nearly every day, running first thing in the morning and doing drills after work in the afternoons. Tohru mentioned that Kyo had begun showing an interest in cooking, and they now traded off the responsibility, trying new, inventive recipes together.

Kazuma watched as the boy who would rage, cursing everyone and everything around him, become a gracious and grateful young man. Being around Tohru and Kyo, he knew that true love was real. He watched Kyo care for her, look out for her, and provide for her. Of course, Kazuma always knew he was _capable _of growing up into the man before him today, but each day that Kyo got to spend, outside, living his life to the fullest, made Kazuma feel like the luckiest man in the world.

"Thanks for letting us stay," Kyo mumbled, still mildly embarrassed to show affection. Kazuma laughed quietly to himself. _Okay,_ he thought, _he's not entirely grown up._

"How is she?" Kazuma asked.

"I don't know…quiet, I guess. I think she's very scared."

"She's lucky to have you, then," Kazuma responded. "I imagine it must be awful knowing it's her only living relative."

"Not her only living relative, just the only relative who actually gives a crap about her." Kyo sighed, taking a sip of his tea. "Such fucking bullshit. They don't even _know _anything about her."

"It is unfortunate," replied Kazuma. "But you can't get angry while you're here. She will need you to be calm."

Kyo groaned, knowing his father was right and still not wanting to hear it. Tohru entered the room, sitting between the two men. Kazuma watched as Kyo poured her a cup of tea and Tohru responded with a squeeze of his hand. The group exchanged pleasantries and updates. They spoke briefly of the reason for the couple's visit, but otherwise remained on simpler, cheerier subjects. Before long, Tohru was yawning, exhausted from their long day, and everyone excused themselves, saying goodnight and retiring to their bedrooms.

Kyo watched as Tohru brushed her long hair, a ritual she did every night before bed. She absentmindedly sat on the bed, staring out the window into the starry night, going through the familiar motions of her nightly ritual while, likely, thinking about her grandfather. She braided her hair, fastening it with a simple elastic, and set the brush down gently on the night stand. Kyo, standing in the bathroom across the hall and brushing his teeth, watched as she propped herself up on a pillow and stared out the window, hugging her knees to her chest.

His heart broke, watching her sit there, knowing full well she was sad, caught up in emotion, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. He'd honestly rather her be upset with him, at least then he would know how to make things better. He rinsed off his toothbrush and crossed the hall, closing the door quietly behind him. He slid into bed next to her. She laid down, resting her head on his chest, as they did every night before they went to sleep.

"I feel very sad," She told him. "However, it is also very nice to be home. As terrible as the circumstance is, being able to have tea with Shishou-san is wonderful."

"Yeah, it really is," Kyo replied. "Is there anything you'd like to do while we're here? I mean, after visiting hours are over at the hospital."

"I'd like to see mother," Tohru responded. "And Kisa-chan and Hiro-san. Everybody, really. I wish Yuki-kun was home, too." Kyo didn't exactly agree with _all _of those ideas, but said nothing.

"We can do whatever you'd like to do," Kyo responded. He kissed her gently on the head. "Let's just get through tomorrow, first."

* * *

When Kyo awoke the next morning, he stretched out his arms, slightly disoriented by his surroundings. He quickly recognized his childhood bedroom, complete with a display case of every belt he had ever received and a few martial arts posters he had torn out of magazines. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes, trying to remember exactly what he was doing here. Glancing at the suitcase at the foot of the bed, he remembered they were here visiting. Thinking about it further, he remembered the reason they were visiting. He whipped his head back down to the bed, looking for Tohru, but she was not there.

He glanced at the clock on the far wall. It was early. _Really _early. The sun had just risen along the horizon. He hadn't been up this early in a long time. Even on days he had to work, he was never up before 6:00am.

He glanced out the window, checking to see if she was in the backyard, but she wasn't. Sliding on a t-shirt, he walked into the hallway, confirming that the bathroom was also empty. Down the hall, the living room and kitchen were quiet, though the slight trace of steam rising from the teapot indicated that she was here, not too long ago.

Upon finding her shoes missing from the entryway, he presumed she had gone for a walk—likely to the grocery store so that she could prepare breakfast in appreciation of Shishou. He smiled to himself. Not even a family emergency could prevent her from doting on others.

Returning upstairs, Kyo slipped on his running clothes and tennis shoes. He was already up, so it didn't hurt to start his day early. He was burning with nervous energy, trying _not _to think about the hospital visit later in the morning. He ran down the familiar streets to a wooded path, not far from Shishou's. It was quiet, with very little foot traffic, a route he preferred rather than having to navigate the crowded sidewalks.

When he arrived back at Shishou's, Tohru was home, doing exactly what he had expected. Shishou was standing at the counter, helping her prepare vegetables for what looked like western omelets.

"I hope you're not letting Shishou cook," said Kyo, wrinkling his nose at the unpleasant memories of Shishou's burnt dinners.

Tohru jumped, startled by the voice behind her. "Kyo-kun, welcome home! You should—"

"Yes, yes, I know, dry off," Kyo smirked. Tohru's cheeks blushed a pale pink. He went upstairs to take a shower, leaving Tohru and Kazuma in the kitchen to continue their cooking.

Sitting back downstairs, hair still damp, in clean clothes, he listened in as Kazuma gave Tohru updates about the family, changes to the dojo, and news from around the city. Tohru, in turn, shared stories about her job as a secretary in the local hospital, making Kazuma laugh at the variety of people she encountered in her daily life. Kyo smirked down at his cup of tea, listening to Tohru easily banter with his father. His heart swelled with happiness.

After breakfast, Tohru went upstairs to grab her coat and shoes while Kyo cleaned up from breakfast. Kazuma offered to help, to which Kyo responded "You know, you can't really _clean _either." Kazuma rolled his eyes.

Hatori pulled up outside at 9:00am sharp. Tohru thanked him again for offering them a ride to the hospital and these were the only words spoken during the entire ride. When they arrived, both men insisted Tohru go in to visit alone at first, so that she would have some special time with her grandfather. Hatori and Kyo sat in the waiting area.

"Is it bad?" asked Kyo.

"Yes, it's rather bad," replied Hatori. "When he fell, they did an x-ray of his entire body to determine what, if anything, was broken. On the x-ray, they found several dark spots in his pelvis, femur, and spine. Nothing is certain yet, as the biopsy results haven't come back, but it appears he has chondrosarcoma, which is a common form of bone cancer."

Kyo winced. "What exactly does that mean?"

"It's not a good prognosis, especially for a man of his age," replied Hatori. "Later today, he'll have a comprehensive CT scan to see if the cancer has metastasized anywhere else."

"But he can get like…medicine for it, right?" Kyo asked, feeling mildly embarrassed that he had no idea about the medical world.

"He can," responded Hatori. "He won't, though. He shared with the oncologist that he wasn't interested in staying in the hospital and wanted to die at home with his family."

Kyo sharply took in a breath. "Fuck…" he muttered under his breath. "How old is he, exactly?"

"He's 86."

Kyo cocked his head, silently reasoning with himself. _Okay_, he thought, _that's actually not a bad age to die…maybe it won't be that sad._ He then mentally chastised himself for being so callous. _She'll be devastated either way. He's her only living relative. It's going to be sad no matter what._

"It's going to be sad no matter how old he is," Hatori said, somehow reading Kyo's mind. Kyo nodded.

Hatori left shortly after, saying he would come back when Kyo and Tohru were ready to go home. Kyo nodded and sat back in the stiff waiting room chair, unsure what to do with himself.

He people-watched for about an hour until Tohru emerged from the hallway into the geriatric wing of the hospital. He saw old ladies shuffle in and out with their walkers and canes, old men sitting and waiting to visit a friend. All the old people made him rather uncomfortable, as he rarely interacted with anyone of the retirement age. He was grateful to see Tohru and a little surprised at how happy she seemed, given what Hatori had just told him not an hour ago.

"Hello," she said, sitting in the chair next to him.

"Hi," he responded. "How was he?"

"He's not well."

"How are you?"

"I'm okay," she responded. He studied her face, looking for cracks in any mask she may have been wearing to hide her true feelings. He found nothing. She smiled, watching him scrutinize her body language. "I'm really okay. Physically, he's not well, but he's still grandfather. We had some nice conversations. It's good to see him again."

Kyo thought about this and smiled. She, as always, was the queen of not dwelling on the negative in life. "Do you know much about his condition?"

Tohru shook her head. "No. He said they are still doing some tests to measure his overall health. That's where he is now, actually. They were going to take him in to get a full body CT scan." Kyo waited for her to share any more information, but she didn't. "That's all I know." He nodded slowly, unsure of how to move forward given what he knew.

"So…now what?" He asked.

"Well, grandfather said after his tests he was going to take a nap. I was thinking we could bring dinner back for him before visiting hours end this evening. And then we can come back and see him tomorrow. But there's no sense in sitting in the hospital waiting." She stood up and clasped his hand, summoning him to his feet. "Come, I know exactly what I want to cook for him."

* * *

Several hours later, they were back at the hospital. When they entered grandfather's room, there was an older couple sitting at his bed side. Tohru hesitated for a brief moment before greeting the woman. "Hi, Mayumi-san, it's good to see you again."

Mayumi nodded and smiled briefly. "Likewise. Though I'd have liked it to be under different circumstances." Kyo resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Under no circumstances had this person ever contacted Tohru. "This is my husband, Harumi." Tohru and Kyo both shook his hand.

Kyo cast his eyes on a tray of food, sitting next to grandfather's bed. He watched Tohru's eyes fixate on it as well. It was picked over, but not really eaten.

"We brought you some dinner, grandfather, but it seems as if you've already eaten," said Tohru, blushing slightly.

"Oh, no," grandfather responded, his voice slightly raspy. "This hospital food is miserable. I'd love something homemade."

"But father," Mayumi responded, "the doctor said to have a limited diet." Tohru's blush deepened.

"I don't care what the doctor said," grandfather responded. "I'm hungry and old. I want what my granddaughter made." Kyo smiled triumphantly, resisting the urge to gloat.

"Oh, grandfather, I'm sorry," Tohru said, bowing. "I didn't realize you had a limited diet. I'm not sure what we made will be appropriate." Grandfather dismissed her concerns quickly.

"Please, Kyoko-chan," grandfather insisted. Mayumi bristled at the name. "They're barely feeding me here." Kyo smiled again, knowing that was all it would take. Tohru quickly set up a plate for her grandfather and set it carefully on the tray in front of him.

"I've also made some tea," Tohru said, pulling out an insulated container. Grandfather nodded.

"Father, _no _liquids of any kind other than water," Harumi demanded. Tohru, again, hesitated, her blush returning.

"Please, Kyoko-chan," grandfather replied, handing her the empty cup from his previous dinner tray.

"Father, if you're not going to listen to the doctor, you're not going to get well," Mayumi insisted.

"I don't want to get well tonight. I want some tea." The old man waved his cup. Tohru hesitantly unscrewed the lid. "Really, it's fine. I'd be happy to call the doctor in, if you'd like."

Tohru poured him a short cup of tea. Mayumi huffed. Harumi shook his head. Kyo and Tohru sat down on two chairs at the foot of the bed. Kyo looked at the old man. His leg was in a cast and elevated slightly under a pillow. He had two bandages on his cheek and a large, swollen bruise atop his bald head. Otherwise, however, he saw what Tohru saw, grandfather. He was in a good mood and acting like his normal, confused self.

"Are you in any pain, grandfather?" Tohru asked.

"Yes, my dear, but only a little," grandfather responded between bites of food. "I hope to move to a rehabilitation center soon." Mayumi shook her head almost imperceptibly. Grandfather noticed and explained "they want me to stay in the hospital, but I'd rather leave as soon as I can. It's quite cramped in here."

"We _want you _to move to oncology," Mayumi insisted. Tohru cocked her head, confused. "So that he can receive treatment."

"Is there something another doctor can do to speed up the healing process?" Tohru asked. Kyo winced. He was fairly certain she didn't know what oncology meant. He didn't, until this morning. As far as Tohru knew right now, her grandfather had a broken leg.

"I'm not interested in pursuing treatment," grandfather responded. "It's not something that I think would improve my life."

"It would drastically improve your life if it were to help you live longer," Harumi almost growled.

"I don't know that I want to live for very long," replied grandfather. Tohru looked at her grandfather and aunt quizzically.

"I-I don't quite understand," Tohru stammered. "What treatment, exactly, are you talking about?"

Mayumi and Harumi looked at Tohru, shocked that she didn't know. Mayumi opened her mouth to say something, but grandfather stopped her. "I think the two of you need to be going, Mayumi. I can see you tomorrow. I'd like to talk to Tohru now." The couple grimaced, but complied, rising to their feet and exiting the room.

Tohru moved to the chair next to the bed, occupying the space her aunt had been in before. Kyo sat moved to sit next to her as grandfather explained.

"Do you know what oncology is, child?" He asked. Tohru shook her head. "It's where they treat people who have cancer."

"But why would you need to go there?" Tohru asked. Kyo winced again, bracing himself for her heartbreak.

"It appears that I'm very ill. Perhaps that's why my leg broke when I fell. I have tumors in my pelvis, femur, and spine. I also have tumors in my brainstem and my stomach, which is why I'm supposed to only have the limited diet." Kyo felt nauseous.

Tohru stood up immediately, clearing the food away from her grandfather and disposing of it in the trash. Grandfather chuckled, insisting he was not quite done eating.

"There are some surgeries I can have, as well as medicine I can take, to slow down the progression of the disease. But it would add only a few months onto my life and likely not be a cure. In fact, surgery is riskier when you're my age." Tohru's eyes welled up with tears. Kyo clenched his fists tightly in his pocket, feeling his nails pierce the callouses on his palms.

"I…don't understand," She said quietly. "Why wouldn't you do that? If it would help you feel better?"

"Because it would mean living in the hospital and continuing to be sick," He responded. "That is not how I want to die. I want to die at home." Tohru grabbed the Thermos, absentmindedly filling her grandfather's empty tea cup. "When you are sick, there are people who help manage your pain and help you transition slowly and peacefully to death. That's what I want to do."

Tohru was silent, tears slipping from her checks to her blouse. "How many months _do _you have in your life?" she asked.

"I'm not quite sure," he responded. "Your doctor friend is optimistic in that it will be six months. My guess is no more than three."

"And how many months _would _you get?"

"That's uncertain. It could potentially speed up the process. Or I could die in surgery. Or I could live for another year. That's the most optimistic of predictions." Tohru nodded. Distantly, a bell chimed, signaling ten more minutes before visiting hours were to end. "Don't cry, child. This is neither a tragedy nor a shock. I'm 86. It's the natural progression of life."

Tohru nodded, bowing her head to hide her tears. She gripped his old, weathered hand in both of hers. "I'm sorry, grandfather," she whispered.

"Don't be," he insisted, smiling. "I get to be with Katsuya and Kyoko. I can tell them about you. I'm excited." Tohru began crying harder, but still silently. She rested her head on her grandfather's bedside.

The final warning bell for visitors to leave rang out. "You'd better go," grandfather insisted. "Come back tomorrow. They said they'll let me in a wheelchair tomorrow. I'd love to get outside for some air." Tohru nodded and grabbed Kyo's hand. They exited the hospital quickly.

"Want me to call Hatori?" Kyo asked. Tohru shook her head.

"It's not too far to walk," she replied.

"It's getting late," Kyo insisted.

"I want to walk," Tohru responded. And so they began.

The cool, evening air felt refreshing after being in the stuffy and cramped hospital room. Tohru slipped her arm through Kyo's, holding his forearm and walking close beside him.

"Are you okay?" Kyo asked, hesitantly.

Tohru didn't immediately respond. He knew the answer was no, even though he asked the question. "I'm sad," she replied finally. "It's interesting, however. The idea of choosing how you die. No one I've ever known has had that option." Kyo's muscles stiffened as he thought about his mother. Tohru quickly said "in this sense, that is. In the elderly sense."

"I know what you mean," Kyo replied. "Sorry. It's a gut reaction." They continued walking, silent for a beat. "In a sense, I guess, it's maybe a good thing? I mean, if he's really that sick, then maybe putting him out of his misery sooner would be better."

Tohru looked at him, mouth agape. "Sorry," Kyo quickly responded. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that…if he were to suffer, you wouldn't want that to go on for a long time."

She nodded. "No, I suppose not. It's certainly a more dignified way to die." They walked quietly down the streets of their former city. "It feels so nice to be home," Tohru commented, changing the subject.

"You miss it?" Kyo asked.

"I do," Tohru admitted. Kyo admired her honesty, not expecting it. "I like where we live, too, but knowing Shishou-san is nearby…along with the rest of the Sohmas…I don't know. It's nice. It's comforting to be here."

"I know what you mean," Kyo said, nodding. "I'm sorry we have to live so far away."

"Don't!" Tohru exclaimed. "I made a choice, too. I'm happy where we are. I'm happy I get to be with you. I'd go anywhere with you. Don't apologize for a single thing."

Kyo smiled, stopping and turning her to face him. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly. He felt her hands slip around his waist. When he pulled back, she was smiling, but her eyes were filled with tears. "I love you," she said. He felt nothing but butterflies in the pit of his stomach.

"I love you, too."

* * *

The following day, Kyo woke up before Tohru, returning to the natural order of things. When they were home, he woke up to the alarm at 7:30, quickly shutting it off and shuffling out for his run. She woke up at 8:00 to get ready for work and they had a brief breakfast together before they both left for the day.

Per his usual routine, he pulled on his running clothes and set out for the morning. No one else in the house was awake, so he quietly slid out the door and began again down the familiar path. Puffing in the cold morning air, he stumbled his way through the final kilometer, not used to running on a wooded, bumpy path. When he got home, he sat briefly on the porch, drinking water and waiting to catch his breath.

As he returned inside, it was still quiet. He tiptoed upstairs to find Tohru, still sound asleep. He saw Kazuma's door closed at the end of the hall.

He was hungry, so he went downstairs to prepare a light breakfast. In the fridge, there was a container of natto. While he didn't particularly enjoy the taste of rotten soybeans, he often ate it as he knew it was a healthy breakfast. He prepared some rice and eggs and sat down to enjoy his breakfast in the quiet dining room.

Kazuma emerged from his bedroom while Kyo was eating. He raised his eyebrow at his son. "Did you make breakfast?"

"I _assembled_ breakfast, old man," Kyo retorted. "It's eggs and rice and that soybean stuff you always preach about." Kazuma sat down, looking at Kyo expectantly. Kyo groaned and got up to prepare a bowl for his father.

"Thank you," Kazuma said, smiling playfully. Kyo just growled in response. "You know, you're still rather sweaty…"

"She's not awake yet," Kyo said. "I mean, it's ridiculous. I don't think anyone has ever caught a cold from sweating."

"So why even bother drying off?" Kazuma asked.

"Because if I don't then she'll—" He noticed Kazuma's smirk. "Shut up." The two men ate in silence for a beat.

"So, now that you're home, will you ask her?" Kazuma asked. Kyo's jaw dropped and he glanced at the doorway.

Last summer, when they were back home, staying with Kazuma, Kyo had asked him to run an "errand" with him. They went into town and stopped at a jewelry store. Kyo insisted Kazuma wait outside and Kyo went in briefly, handed over a check, and returned with a small bag. He threw the bag itself in the trashcan, shoving its contents into his pocket.

"_Buy something, did you?" Kazuma asked. _

"_No. Come on, we have to stop at the grocery store." Kyo began walking, but Kazuma stuck his foot out, hooking Kyo's ankle and causing him to tumble to the ground, narrowly catching himself with the palms of his hands. _

"_Are you insane?!" Kyo shouted, leaping to his feet and attempting to kick his father. "Why would you do that?" Kazuma grabbed his son's hands and pulled them together, locking them under his own arm. With his free hand, he reached into Kyo's pocket and pulled out a small, navy jewelry box. He flipped it open and saw a simple, delicate gold band._

_Kyo was scarlet and furious, looking around and attempting to free himself from his father's grip. Passerby looked at the two and smirked._

"_Are you done?" Kyo demanded. Kazuma flipped the box closed and slid it back into Kyo's pocket. He released the boy's hands and began walking towards the grocery store._

_Kyo stood, dumbfounded at the interaction and his father's nonchalance. He ran to catch up. "Don't you have anything to say?!" He shouted. Kazuma turned. There were tears in his eyes._

"_No, I have nothing to say," Kazuma responded. "Actually…I do. I'm proud of you."_

"This hardly seems like the occasion to do so, but thanks for your inquiry," Kyo responded sardonically.

"I think it's a great time," Kazuma responded. "I mean, you're here, supporting her, showing her this grand gesture of love…"

"Enough."

"You should ask her grandfather's permission before he dies."

"Enough!"

Both men glanced at each other as they heard the toilet flush upstairs. Kyo shot Kazuma a threatening look as Tohru walked down the stairs.

"Good morning!" Tohru exclaimed. "Did you make breakfast?"

"He _assembled _breakfast," Kazuma shared, smiling.

"He's very good at assembling," Tohru matched Kazuma's smile. Kyo blushed and quickly got up and prepared her a bowl for breakfast, leaving out the natto.

"No natto?" Kazuma asked. "You know it's very good for your digestion."

Tohru grinned. "I know, Kyo tells me every morning." Kazuma laughed out loud.

Kyo buried his scarlet face in his hands and groaned loudly. "Eeeeeeenough," he whined. "Everyone stop talking."

* * *

An hour later, Kyo and Tohru were on the bus, headed back to the hospital. As promised, grandfather was sitting in a wheelchair, his leg propped up. Mayumi was there as well, alone.

"Ah, Kyoko-chan," said grandfather. "Are you here for our walk?"

Tohru smiled and agreed. Mayumi huffed. Kyo grabbed the back of the old man's wheelchair and pushed it out the door. Briefly, they saw grandfather's doctor in the hallway, who smiled and told them to enjoy.

It was cold outside, but sunny. The walk through the hospital grounds was brief, but refreshing. Along the way, Tohru fretted about the chilly breeze and insisted her grandfather wear her scarf. He chuckled.

"You'll make a wonderful mother," he said, patting her hand. "When will you two be having babies?"

Tohru stammered and Kyo blushed. "We're not married quite yet," Tohru responded.

"Well, I know it won't happen in my lifetime…" said grandfather. "But when it does you'll be just like your mother and father. So doting and eager."

Tohru changed the subject quickly. "Do you know when you'll be going home, grandfather?"

"Mayumi is setting all of that up, but I'd imagine within the week," said grandfather. "It appears they have accepted my wishes, but it means finding someone who can keep me comfortable."

"A nurse?"

"Yes, a nurse," replied grandfather.

Kyo knew what was coming next. She was going to offer to stay with him. He said nothing, just listening to the two of them talk. "You know," Tohru started. "I could—"

"No," grandfather replied, sternly. "No, no. It's not your job and I wouldn't want you having to care for me like that."

"I didn't mean the medical pieces, but the general care…" Tohru said, trailing off when she saw her grandfather's head shake.

"No," he simply responded. "You can come visit, but you cannot care for me. You have a life to live."

They discontinued the conversation there. Kyo felt grateful, and a bit selfish, that he would not have to sacrifice her to care for her grandfather. He knew he would have to return back to the coast within a few days, and he knew he probably wouldn't be able to convince her to go with him. But it made him feel better knowing that she wouldn't be forced to provide such a service for someone she so dearly loved. It would have drained her entirely.

Back upstairs, Mayumi had gone, leaving a note that she would be back shortly. Grandfather winced as the nurses hoisted him back into the bed, and he leaned his head back, exhausted.

"Before you leave, would you mind getting tea?" Grandfather asked, his eyes closed and voice tired. "There's a small café downstairs in the lobby."

Kyo leapt up. "No problem," he said.

"No, not you," replied the old man. "Tohru knows how I like it." Tohru dutifully obliged and headed out the door, leaving Kyo sitting in the hospital room with a man he didn't know too well and who was rather ill.

"She is special," said grandfather. It was so quiet, almost a whisper, that Kyo wasn't entirely ure the comment was meant for him. "Just like her father."

Kyo nodded his head, unsure of how to respond.

"Are you going to marry her?" grandfather asked.

It was a question Kyo couldn't dodge. It was directly pointed at him. "That's my intention."

Grandfather smiled. "Good. You're a good man." It was quiet for a few minutes and Kyo wasn't entirely sure if the old man had fallen asleep until he said "Just like her father."

When Tohru re-entered the room, she saw her grandfather asleep and Kyo sitting quietly looking out the window.

"I don't think he's gonna want the tea," said Kyo. Tohru pondered whether she should leave it to get cold or simply give it to Kyo. "You drink it," responded Kyo, reading her mind. "He can always get more."

* * *

The days following were a blur. Tohru spent at least two hours at the hospital every day, reading to her grandfather and spending time with him. She briefly interacted with Mayumi and a few other choice cousins, but their conversations were clipped. Meanwhile, Kyo helped Kazuma around the dojo, teaching some classes and seeing some of his old students.

They had spent a late night together, lying in bed and discussing what to do knowing about her grandfather's terminal illness. Initially, Tohru insisted on staying, saying that she wanted to be near him in case anything happened. Kyo offered the solution of them both returning to their shared apartment and coming back every weekend to visit, but it wasn't really a feasible option. Even if they were both home and working, a bus or train ticket back wasn't cheap and it would be challenging to do that every weekend not knowing when or if grandfather would die.

Kazuma offered for Kyo to work for him until grandfather died, but Kyo decided against it. "If I work for you," he said, "I _only _want to work for you. I don't want to have to go back to another job in a few months' time."

Tohru called into her workplace, explaining the situation. They offered her the time to leave, but it would have to be unpaid and they couldn't guarantee her a job when she got back.

They had planned to stay through the week, if nothing else. Come the Saturday after they'd arrived, they would be forced to make a decision, but between now and then, they would each think about it and spend their time visiting with grandfather, spending time with the local Sohma family members, and enjoying a visit home.

Their decision was made for them on Thursday. Tohru and Kyo had decided to walk over to the hospital, stopping for breakfast on the way. They both would visit with him and then Kyo would leave to go teach a class with Kazuma, leaving Tohru there to spend the day with him.

When they arrived, they took the elevator up to the geriatric floor and walked down the hall to grandfather's room. It was empty. In the hallway, Tohru grabbed a nurse, asking "excuse me, do you know where Honda-san is? Was he discharged today?"

The nurse frowned. "I'm sorry, are you a relative of his?"

"I'm his granddaughter. Tohru Honda."

"He died late last night, my dear," The nurse responded. "His daughter was here a few hours ago to collect his things. Did she not tell you?"

Tohru slowly shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," the nurse replied and began to walk away.

"Wha-what happened exactly?" Tohru asked, grabbing the nurse once more on her sleeve.

"I'm not sure. The night shift nurse was on duty then. If you call your aunt, I'm sure she'll tell you."

Tohru spun around as the nurse left, locking eyes with Kyo. Her eyes were wide, bewildered. Her face had drained of all color. She was absolutely speechless. Kyo could feel rage building in his chest. He clenched and unclenched his fists and gritted his teeth, trying not to let on how angry he was.

"Why didn't they tell me?" Tohru whispered. It was a rhetorical question, of course. She knew the answer. Kyo grabbed her and pulled her tightly into his chest. He squeezed her tightly and let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. And with that, Tohru began to silently sob, her shoulders quaking, her breath ragged, and her heart broken.

An hour later, they were in Hatori's car, pulling up to the main entrance of her grandfather's apartment complex. She had a suspicion that Mayumi was there and she wanted answers. She was no longer sad, but rather angry.

Angry Tohru was an interesting creature. She was not explosive, like Kyo was, nor the quiet brooding type, like his cousin Rin. Instead, she was calm, measured, and icy cold. It was a scary, and quite frankly sexy, sight, not that Kyo wanted to think about that right now. He had only truly ever seen her angry once, when he had forgotten to tell her he would be working late on the one-year anniversary of them moving into their new place.

Now was a bit different. Her episode of anger in the past was trivial. She was angry, but it was fleeting as no real wrongdoing had occurred. But now, she was wronged. She was misinformed. And she was _pissed_. She was so angry, in fact, that after Hatori stopped the car, she stormed out without a 'thank you.' Kyo muttered a halfhearted 'thanks' for the both of them and chased her up the stairs. She threw open the door of her grandfather's apartment to find Mayumi and her husband, as well as six or seven other strangers who Kyo assumed were family members.

"T-Tohru, I wasn't expecting you," said Mayumi, rising to her feet. Her eyes were red and it was clear she had been crying.

"When did you know?" Tohru asked.

"I-I didn't know very long before…" Mayumi stammered.

"Did they call you last night?" Tohru retorted, her voice calm and collected.

"Y-yes, but it was very late," said Mayumi. Harumi stood to join his wife. "I didn't want to wake you."

"What about this morning?" said Tohru. "It's almost noon. I've been awake for hours. I went to the hospital. Why didn't you call?"

"I-I wasn't exactly sure of how to reach you."

"I left three phone numbers."

Mayumi was speechless. The other family members looked on, shocked as well. Kyo reached for Tohru's hand, but she stuck it in her pocket.

"How did it happen?" Tohru asked. Mayumi didn't respond. "They wouldn't tell me at the hospital."

"He had a stroke," Harumi responded. "When the night nurse came in to check on him, he was already gone."

"Where is his body?"

"It's at the mortuary."

Tohru sharply took in a breath. She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and Kyo could see her hands shaking.

"We'll be holding the wake tomorrow evening," Harumi said. "We hope you can come."

"He was my grandfather," Tohru said, clasping her shaking hands together behind her back. "He was my only connection to this family. The only connection to my father or my mother. He loved me and cared for me when you all turned your back on me." Her voice began to waver slightly. "I feel sorry to know that you, his only daughter, and my aunt, are nothing like him. You have no kindness or love or acceptance in your heart. He would be ashamed of you."

With that, she turned and left. Kyo stood only briefly, looking at the faces of shock on the relatives' faces. He resisted the urge to smirk and ducked out the door behind her, gently closing it on the way out.

Downstairs, and in the car, Tohru slumped against his chest during the ride home. When they arrived at Kazuma's she immediately went upstairs to have some time alone to grieve. Kazuma said nothing, recognizing from both Kyo and Tohru's expressions what had happened.

The following day, she donned a black dress, borrowed last minute from Hanajima. Kyo wore a too-small suit belonging to Kazuma. The arrived at the wake and sat in the back row. Later, when the crowd had thinned out, Tohru went up and placed a picture of her mother, her father, and herself as a baby into the casket. She kissed her grandfather's head and said goodbye. She did not attend any of the following funeral events, though Mayumi did, in fact, reach out and tell her the details.

Instead, she and Kyo spent the following day in front of her mother's grave. Though it wasn't the anniversary of her death, they brought a picnic and incense anyway. They spent the afternoon in the sun, not really talking, but rather eating and quietly reminiscing.

On the walk home, Tohru said "I want to be a Sohma."

Kyo chuckled and glanced at her. "I will never understand why you would want that."

"As far as I'm concerned," Tohru said, "I no longer have an extended family. My father, my mother, and my grandfather are all gone. _You _have an extended family, whether you want it or not. And I want that. I want a big family. I want a family that cares about each other and fights, but still makes up. I want that."

"You know most of us aren't even related by blood…" Kyo responded.

Tohru stopped walking, looking up at him. Her eyes were insistent. "Kyo," She said. "_I want to be a Sohma._"

"I know, you just said—" Kyo stopped when she realized what she was actually saying. "Oh." He looked at her, unsure of how to proceed. He remembered his conversation with Kazuma, just a few days ago, about his grand, romantic gesture of support and love. He remembered Tohru's grandfather asking him about his intentions. "I…um. I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do with that request."

Tohru smiled. "I'm not saying right this very second," she reassured him. "But I was thinking about what grandfather said. About being a mother or having kids. That's what I want and I want to have that with you. I want to be with you always. I want to be your wife."

Kyo nodded, butterflies blooming in his stomach. The future was always an unspoken, but solid story. They would one day be married. They would one day have children. They would grow old together. He knew it and she knew it, even if they never really talked about it.

"I, uh, don't exactly have anything to give you to commemorate this occasion…" stammered Kyo, damning himself for not carrying the ring with him every second of every day. "I mean, I have it…I just don't actually have it on me."

"I don't need anything," she insisted. "I just wanted you to know my intentions."

"Well, in that case, I'll tell you mine," Kyo took a deep breath. "I love you. I have always loved you and always will love you. I want to be with you forever, too. I want you to be my wife. I want to be able to take care of you and be there for you and do everything in my power not to fuck—" her face contorted "sorry, 'screw' anything up. You are everything I have ever wanted or needed in my life. Please marry me, even though I don't have the stupid ring with me."

Tohru smiled and pressed up on her tiptoes to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her, savoring every bit of her touch. "Yes," she whispered. His eyes welled with tears, mixing with her tears on the way down his cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you, too."


End file.
